Day 27

I packed my mundu, dressed into nice shirt and went to bus stand to go to Shiva's village. Correct bus was easy to find, but it was very crowded. I had to stand in very crowded corridor for a while, but one father taken his daughter to his lap in effect giving me space, even though I was sitting next to three boys that occupied two seats together.

I waited just a little at the bus stand when Shiva's came on motorbike to pick me up. His village was some distance away, bus stand being just the closest bigger town. He was already explaining things on motorbike, but I usually have trouble to hear words properly on motorbike.

In the village I was welcomed by boy who was already waiting for me, eager to meet foreigner. We entered the house and welcomed everyone. They prepared meal specifically for me, knowing that I'm vegan, sparing me the trouble with explanations. There were of course introductions and multiple photo sessions with me. Shiva taken me out of the house to show me around. His family apparently had not one or two houses around, but whole neighboring complex of houses belonging to his relatives so I have been introduced to multiple sisters, brothers, uncles and aunts, especially because it was festive time at which relatives come back, whoever lives in different places. We went for a tour around family houses, I tried little bit cricket for the first time, it was some simplified home ruled version, so I just tried to hit the ball by the bat, but my ball always were caught which means I wasn't particularly good. Relatives were apparently often asking if I'm a guy or a girl, my hair being confusing enough, and they were joking that if I would be girl I would be good match for Shiva.

After that we went to Shiva's mother village and it was similar story. Going around houses, being introduced to relatives, although this time it was just a few houses. Shiva told that we would need to spend whole day like that if he would like to visit everyone. At this village we went to the place where they were keeping bulls ready just before jallikattu or its local version. They had painted horns and were decorated by scarfs or other way. It was in a way interesting to see, but for moral reasons I'm not big fan of it.

We get to return to the first village. Along the way we went to see village temple that is at the border of the village and signify its end and also various fields and coconut farms that belongs to his family. On the way we saw gathered crowd, women with beautiful sarees, men in dhotis. I didn't understand what was the reason for the gathering, because Shiva was telling that festivities will start only later. Certain areas were described as belonging commonly to the whole village, no one person in particular. They are cultivated together and profit out of it is used to improve the village. He showed me also big tree square at the center of the village where, as he said, all village disputes take place.

We returned to the first family house and the lunch was already prepared. It was great food, served on banana leaf, with multiple sides. They wanted to sit me on the chair until Shiva asked directly if I would be comfortable on the ground. I didn't have a problem although I must admit that when I sit cross-legged on the floor, not on more soft ground, my ankles hurt a little, I'm not sure if I could sit somehow more comfortable. I really staffed myself, but typically they wanted to give me more. With Shiva we went to separate room to dress in our dhoti, as I asked him to help me, because last time it was hard to do on my own. He shown me some method that looked very simply, simpler than what I used at the wedding and he tied it around me like that. It felt secure and I didn't have impression that it could untie easily on me.

Before going to festivities we went to his father house. It was just in front of the first, it was smaller and not that well kept. Shiva said that he doesn't feel like spending money on it while not living in it much. I talked with his father and he was telling about his grandfather who worked in Burma. Apparently a lot of people of this family were going to work and live in Singapore or Southeast Asian countries, Shiva being the first who chosen direction of Europe. It is interesting how long global history and geography influence such a personal histories. Malayalis and Tamils being so close in terms of language, culture and geography, being separated only by Western Ghats, but the first ones having long history with Gulf countries and second ones with Southeast Asia instead. At this point while we were talking I was thinking that women are not with us for the most time, only to serve us. However I wpould want to deny, it's not that dissimilar in Poland, but here it was even more apparent. It was amplified by one of Shiva's father explanations. He said that there's certain small village tax that in this household are paid only by two people - married men. Shiva will be paying when he will get to be married.

We finally went to the village center, under the tree that disputes happen, as I learned previously. And indeed one dispute was going just right now. It taken me moment to realize how serious that dispute is and people of both sides looked like if they want to kill each other. There were police among the crowd and one small policewoman separated some people and started to scream at them while her colleagues where recording people's dispute. However serious that was, I couldn't help, but smile inside - and hold myself from smiling outside. It looked like I stepped into the set of one of the movies I watched, with all the arguing and fighting. Shiva explained that this whole big fight was over some petty issue like which side of the village would release the bull as first. I also learned later that this whole village in-fighting started already 18 years ago and it could be reignited by any small issue. Upon learning all of that it reminded me movies even more, especially "Mandela" with the setup of two sides of the village fighting and over blowing every small issue into big dishonor and harm done by the other side.

Little boys of the village wanted to talk with me and they barely paid attention to the fight. The boy of Shiva's family was bragging that I'm his friend. I sat at the elevation where central tree is and I learned that I suppose to remove chappals as it is considered temple. I made some photographs in dhoti, specifically to send to Nicha, because I knew how much she liked that I was wearing it at the wedding.

As much as I enjoyed seeing the fight at first, I hoped that it won't escalate or that we will leave this place before that will happen. We did just that and we went to the temple/shrine - one of many in the village or it was at least the one of this side. At the moment pongal was almost done and then soon pots were removed from the space. I learned that the space between two houses that leads to the shrine is already considered part of it so I should leave my sandals before entering.

I spent there a lot of time, talking with relatives and villagers, while waiting for proper ceremonies to happen. One man said that I shouldn't put black shirt for today, as it's not good luck and every men was wearing white ones or at least colored, but in lighter tones. In the meantime, banana leaves were put where pots were and they started to put some sort of gifts. They made two circles with bananas, put coconut outside and started to pour pongal to the circles. After that they brought more dishes and pour them over the pongal and started to mix everything together. Unfortunately for me, they pour a lot of ghee on it, rendering it non vegan so I couldn't join. As Shiva explained, every household brought their own dishes and they mixed it in order for everyone to eat it afterwards equally. It was symbol of unity of people of the village, even though reality of fighting and split clashed with symbolism in my mind.

As the new mixed dish was created, it was put on hold until something happens. Shiva explained that there will be some rituals and there will be some possessions by gods. We were waiting for a long time and apparently everything was going late, apparently due to the conflict. Shiva was vanishing somewhere and appearing again so I was left with cousins and other relatives. Finally after long time we heard some procession, but it was halted at some other shrine. Some very energetic man with weird close came to the shrine with others accompanying him. He was behaving very erratically, he was doing some back and forth movement and was calling the possessed individual. At least at first I interpreted that he is some sort of priest or shaman that is calling the god to the shrine. He was also agitating crowd to call him too and women were doing funny sounds with their tongue which I saw before only some kids doing, but here I saw old and young ladies doing that with full seriousness. Little later I learned that he wasn't priest, but also possessed, the brother of the other one. Soon procession came more fully to the agitating brother-god and brought with them possessed woman. She was very aggressive and it looked like people tried to contain her, especially women tried to put her in place, she didn't enter the shrine. The next possessed came and crowd covered him from every side, trying to argue with him or bargain something from him. Whole situation looked quite wild and I didn't know how much of it was planned and how much was done as it unfolded. At some point the possessed brothers left, but the woman stayed at our place. They handled her and eventually she started to give blessings. Mostly women were left here and mostly them were coming for blessings. One of the cousins asked if I want to come to her too. I wasn't sure, but she encouraged me. Then I saw how the possessed women hit other woman in the chest with opened hand and started to say something angrily. The other woman reacted rather stoically, waiting for the end of her outburst. Cousin said that I shouldn't be afraid and she won't do that to me. I think someone in fact was explaining something on my behalf before I came to her. She calmly gave me little tower made out of paste or ashes at my hand which I supposed to apply at my forehead. I don't remember what is the material of that paste, but I'm sure someone said it to me. Camphor? Sandalwood? Something else?

Interesting thing for me was that the possessed woman at moments looked like she calmed down, but she had again some outbursts. So after the finish, I couldn't notice any clear moment when she stopped being possessed. She simply rested at the corner. Another thing was with the agitating brother who was brought to the shrine again and left without weird turban and other accessories, apparently not possessed anymore. When it happened, although it was already late and the mixed dish get to be cold at this point, they finally could eat it. They started to distribute it, mostly through pots which they were giving to each household. I didn't eat, but I participate in some sort of blessing of the food where we were coming, doing some gestures around the fire and food. Interestingly, the first ones came men and no seniority overruled it. Ladies came only when men generally finished, although I was brought by ladies to perform it too.

Everyone was leaving and we returned to the house with Shiva. We undressed from dhoti and left with goodbyes. We didn't have much time for my bus so I hopped on a motorbike and Shiva gave me a lift. When we arrived at the station my bus was already leaving so I literally jumped into it. It was so crowded that I had to stand for the most part of the journey. I really felt that today was unique experience, one of highlights of my Indian trip. While I returned to Madurai I went for close restaurant that I get to like at this point and then for sleep.

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