Day 34

This day felt like previous one in many aspects. At least first half of it. Blissful and warm. Until afternoon the time snapped so quickly that I honestly don't know what I was doing except aimless wandering around. But then I became hungry and I realized that I still didn't do any shopping and I don't have that much time left. And I had to buy some gifts for others and books for myself. I was keeping in mind that I need to do this so I was mentally noting since yesterday where I should go and what I should look for, but I didn't do any actual shopping yet.

I wanted to start with buying some clothes for my mom. I always struggled with clothes so I wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible, although I still wanted to buy something nice. I was looking around shops of Mattancherry, especially Jew Town. I did a lot of photos and tried to consult with Nicha, but I wasn't convinced into anything in particular. I almost convinced myself into buying blue-white churidar set, but Nicha told me about sale in some regular brand chain. It was tempting to check it, because I knew that it will be cheaper to buy in place where Indians regularly shop, instead of tourist places, but on the other hand I wasn't sure if I'll find something I was looking for. The closest one was on the other island, but just after the bridge so I decided that I have time to visit at least this one.

When I tried to catch some bus, suddenly someone going on motorbike from behind (that's actually important detail) called me and stopped next to me. He was excited and said "wait, wait, wait" while scrolling quickly through his phone. I waited confused like that for a bit, but I didn't want to interrupt him. Finally he found what he was looking for and shown me video of me dancing at the street of Fort Kochi just before Christmas time. He asked if that's me and I confirmed. He said that he did this video, after I asked him about that. I just hoped that video of me dancing didn't go viral. Seeing myself dancing always feels very awkward. It was funny in a way that he was able to recognize me after a month from behind while riding motorbike, I must be quite recognizable.

I decided that now I don't have much time to spare so I preferred to spend little bit more money and called tuk tuk instead of looking for correct bus. The shop looked familiar, like every brand shop in Poland almost, but it was very cheap for my standards, much more cheaper than in tourist alleyways. I chose some long kurta-like dress that I liked and really thought that my mom will like it. I decided to eat there before returning to Fort Kochi / Mattancherry. It was very nice masala dosa. I thought how masala dosa remained my favorite Indian meal and it is my last one during this trip.

After return to historical districts I felt at a loss what to buy for my dad, especially because I bought kurta for mom, so I thought that I should buy something at least partially equivalent. But my father feels like hard nut to crack with such things like gifts. I called mom to ask her about suggestion, but she didn't have idea what to buy for dad either. I opted for buying few souvenir magnets for refrigerator and bunch of sweets. Even more sweets for kids. I already bought bunch of stuff during first day so I decided that it will be enough. It had to be enough.

Finally I could focus on books. It was already quite late and I could manage only one bookstore, but I knew which one to choose and fortunately it was still open. When I went there I started to look around and I got into paralysis almost. Whenever some book caught my attention I started to look up reviews of it over my phone and torment myself with overthinking. Bookseller lady at some point, with mild annoyance, that it's forbidden to check a phone in bookstore. There was even sign with this rule written down, but my mind didn't register it. It seemed weird at first, but it was actually liberating. I could just go along my intuition and feelings, allowing myself to discover something surprising. I knew that I had to limit myself somehow, because otherwise I won't have space to pack them. My rule was that the books I'll buy suppose to be related to places I saw, or rather generally to Kerala and Tamil Nadu. I actually broke that rule only once, but I feel justified so, it was anthology of "Anti-caste science fiction". Science fiction from India is rare as it is and additionally anthology's theme was intriguing. I chose some books that I was already interested in, but I also asked about opinion the bookseller. Because I was in Kochi most books I bought were Kerala or malayali related, but I also bought one big book with the title "Tamils" literally. One book novel was set in Kanyakumari, although written by malayali. I wanted to buy one specific book with "Madurai" in the title, but it was just out of stock right now. Overall I bought 11 books there and additionally 2 translations of Tirukkural back in Madurai. I returned quickly to my room just to drop the books. Funny situation ensued, because I told Nicha that I'm thinking about leaving some of my clothes to make space for books and she was horrified. How could I leave clothes for mere books? Well, for me it was the opposite, it were clothes that were just clothes.

At the beach, when I was dipping my feet into the ocean, it really dawned at me that this it is, that's the end of my beautiful trip. Somehow I felt very calm. Night atmosphere out of season only solidified serenity in my heart. I didn't want to return, but I made my peace with the end of the trip, with the heartbreak, I was really content. I knew that it's not forever farewell. I texted Tini, thanked her for inviting me once again and saying my last goodbye. Similarly I texted with Nicha, although with her I was in constant contact either way. However silly that was, because I was already in contact with them only online for a long time now, but I felt it's fitting. While I was making my goodbye to Kerala and India, I had to say it through them. Despite how much people I met here, these two girls felt really like my anchors.

I elongated my farewell as much as I could, entered the ocean for the last time and then returned to homestay to finish packing.

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